As an author, there’s nothing more exciting (or nerve-wracking) than meeting someone important in the book world—a literary agent, editor, another author, or even a publisher. You might feel like it’s your big moment to talk about your work, but there’s an important lesson I’ve learned that I want to share: not every encounter is the right time for business.
I once had a chance encounter with a well-known literary agent at a book event. We were both at the snack table, caught up in the world of cupcakes and coffee during a break between seminars. I was struggling to find the dietary-friendly snacks and then navigate all the different codes to find the right one for me, and she was kindly helping out. This turned into a casual, friendly conversation about which agency she was from, the growth of the romantasy genre and how agencies in Australia are now taking more interest in it, the crazy life of an agent. It was a lighthearted, insightful exchange, and we both enjoyed discussing the new trends in publishing.
But as we spoke, I noticed something: our conversation kept getting interrupted. People who recognised her as the agent they’d been emailing about submissions came up with questions like, “Did you get my email?” and “Oh, I’m the author who submitted X manuscript to you.” Some even wanted to ask her why she’d rejected their work—right there, while she was just trying to grab a snack.
She looked overwhelmed, and I could tell she was frustrated. It wasn’t the time or place for that kind of conversation. As I watched this unfold, I felt uncomfortable for both of us. I'm not sure about her, but I know for sure I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me whole. It was clear those interruptions weren’t just awkward; they were damaging to any chance those authors had of building a positive relationship with her. It became a lesson that I wish more authors knew: not every moment is a business moment.
Chance Encounters Are for Chitchat
In Leil Lowndes’ book How to Talk to Anyone, she offers a great piece of advice: “Chance encounters are for chitchat.” In other words, when you bump into someone important in your field, like an agent or publisher, it’s not the time to pitch your book or follow up on an email.
It might be tempting, especially if you’ve been waiting to hear back about your submission. But if you catch them at a social event, in a queue, or even by chance in a bookstore or café, the best thing you can do is keep it light, friendly, and casual. You want to leave a good impression, not overwhelm them when they’re clearly off duty.
"Chance encounters are for chitchat."
Why It’s Important to Respect Personal Time
Think about it from their perspective: agents, editors, and publishers are people, too. Just like the rest of us, they need time to unwind, enjoy a snack, or engage in a conversation without being bombarded with pitches. When authors press them in social settings about business, it can create a negative association with the person or their work.
It’s crucial to respect their personal time. Grilling them about your submission at a party or event will likely frustrate them and make them less inclined to respond positively when they do get to your email. It’s always better to leave business matters for the business space.
In the moment, just enjoy yourself socially and talk about what we all love best. Books, favourite books, annoying character deaths, and which movie adaptations were the worst and which were actually not terrible, unexpectedly.
We have so many things to talk about.
How to Handle These Encounters
So, what should you do if you run into someone important in the book world? Here are some simple tips to keep things professional and respectful:
Be Gracious and Casual. If you happen to meet an agent or editor, greet them kindly and engage in light conversation. Maybe ask them about what they’re reading, their thoughts on a recent book trend, or even just how they’re enjoying the event. You can mention you’re a writer, but don’t push for a conversation about your book or submission.
Focus on Building a Connection. Instead of pitching your book, focus on building rapport. You can still make a good impression without diving into the details of your project. They’ll likely appreciate the break from work-related conversations, and you’ll come across as someone they’d enjoy talking to again in the future.
Leave Business for Later. If you really want to follow up on something business-related, wait until after the event and send a thoughtful email. You can always mention that you met them briefly at [X-named event] and enjoyed the conversation, but keep the business talk out of chance encounters.
Respect Their Boundaries. Pay attention to their cues. If they seem like they’re trying to enjoy a moment of downtime, it’s best to leave the conversation at that. The more you respect their personal time, the more positively they’ll remember you.
What Happens When You Don’t Follow This Advice?
I’ve seen firsthand what happens when authors don’t respect this boundary. At the event I mentioned, the agent was visibly frustrated, and those authors likely damaged their future chances with her. It wasn’t because their books were bad or because she didn’t want to talk to them—she just wasn’t in the right headspace for business at that moment. And I don't blame her.
By pressuring someone in a non-professional setting, you risk being remembered for the wrong reasons. Instead of having a productive conversation later on, you may have burned a bridge without even realising it. And in an industry that's already notoriously challenging to break into, you don't want to risk losing even one potential connection.
Conclusion: Stay Calm and Be Kind
The publishing world can feel daunting, and it’s natural to want to grab every opportunity to promote your work. But not every encounter is the right time to pitch. The next time you meet an important industry person outside of a formal business setting, remember: it’s okay to just have a friendly chat.
(And please, remember to smile. Be friendly.)
Let your professionalism and kindness leave a lasting impression, and save the business talk for when they’re in a business frame of mind. You’ll build stronger, more respectful connections—and that will benefit your career far more in the long run.
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